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In a stunning about face, UCP leader and Alberta provincial election frontrunner Jason Kenny announced plans to not only maintain the NDP's current funding levels for the Green Line LRT, but to nearly double it to $6B should his party take control of the Alberta Legislature. Speaking at a routine campaign stop in Vulcan earlier this morning, Kenny, while standing in the shadow of the USS Enterprise, said he was inspired by the message of hope for the future that the beloved Star Trek franchise had inspired, and had been moved by the enduring wisdom of Mr. Spock who famously declared, "the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few."
To these ends, Kenny spoke to a brave new era in conservative politics in the province, whereby fiscal prudence would not be allowed to take the sort of damaging, fact-adverse, populist rhetoric that many have come to associate with members of his party. Addressing "the good city folk of Calgary," Kenny pledged that urban Albertans need not fear a UCP majority mandate, and that the state of planned and future transit, affordable housing, and green energy projects would not be compromised as part of Alberta's new economic action plan.
"LRT, and public transit in general, represents the best way forward for our cities," said Kenny, before a bewildered crowd of party faithful who had come out to support their leading man. Sensing he was losing his audience, Kenny let loose a sly grin before gently reminding his supporters of today's date - April 1st - wrapping what will be a campaign speech to remembered for the ages with a Nixon-esque double "V" for victory gesture and a final rallying cry of "April Fools!"
